I can see this going real well.

***

Dear Kim Jong Il,

How are you? I am fine. Say, would you tell us all of your nucular secrets? I am concerned about other countries having the same sorts of dangerous things as me. I want to be #1 keeper of dangerous things in teh world. You should tell me what sorts of dangerous things you have so I can tell you not to have them anymore.

Love,
George Bush

***

Dear George,

What are you, deficient? I've never heard anything so dumb come out of anyone that wasn't Portuguese. Do you know what a secret is? It's something you don't tell other people. I can't believe your stupid country would let anyone with hair as bad as yours run the country. And seriously, a letter? Come see me in person. I'll give you a cushy room at one of our finest imperial hotels.

Piss off.
Kim Jong Il

***

He must have gotten the idea to send a letter asking for information from Harry Reid. It always works so well when he tries it.