Schadenfreude overdose

Does anyone have a problem with the idea that Larry Craig is trying to get out of being outed based on "well, I was just trying to sweep this under the rug. I didn't really do anything, and I should've consulted an attorney?" My feelings are thus:

• If you make laws for a living, you should have a reasonable understanding thereof.
• He should have been advised of his Miranda Rights, including the right to an attorney, upon his arrest. Since he is filing no suit against the police for failing to advise him of his rights, I will presume that he was so advised.
• If you are unfamiliar with your Miranda Rights, you are far too dumb to be a Senator.
• If you are rich and take a guilty plea for something you didn't do without even having a phone call with a lawyer, you are TOO DUMB TO BE A SENATOR.
  
• There is far more coverage of this story than there is substance to it.
• I'm not entirely sure that trying to get laid is a crime.
  

In other news:

• The only thing that John McCain can do to salvage his reputation at this point is fake his death, and have one of those fancy TV funerals they give to famous politicians where everything says something nice, even people who hate them.
• Back in 2002, when I was doing research to sound smart when I started talking about not wanting to invade Iraq, I came to the conclusion that Saddam Hussein was a douchebag, but he was a douchebag who was fairly well contained. I came to the secondary conclusion that while having Hussein in power was less than ideal, it was unreasonable to expect the rival religious groups in Iraq to get along any better without him there. It seemed like a bad idea to promise the American people that things would get better in Iraq if we removed the douchebag. My feelings are similar about cancer. I think cancer is a bad thing, and I want it to go away. However, I don't think it's a reasonable thing to promise America that after 2018, no one will die of cancer. These are not goals grounded in reality. Offering to expand and fund aggressive research is one thing, but promising no more cancer deaths is not realistic.
• A quick summary from NYT about the scandals going on. I would like to take this opportunity to remind any readers who may have an illegally obtained $90,000 in cash lying around that the freezer is a bad place to hide it. Why? Because no one ever hides $90,000 in legally obtained cash in the freezer. You've got to be able to do better than that.
• Hilly Kristal is dead at age 75. I'm just waiting to hear Dick Biondi start spinning "Blitzkrieg Bop."
• The state that gave us Dick Cheney has now upstaged Florida for being snotty about their primary. I'm hoping that this frontloading nonsense is coming to a head, and that in 2012, all 50 states can have a nice primary on the same day, sometime in March or April.
  
• It's okay, Imus, you'll have company soon. And he'll be wearing a snappy bow tie.
• Senator Warner (R-VA) will likely be replaced with a Senator Warner (D-VA).
• Democrats are thinking about maybe considering talking about doing something sometime down the road about domestic spying.

I've been inhaling news for over five hours since I started writing this post, and I cannot tell you how tired I am of this Larry Craig thing. The initial schadenfreude of watching another Republican hit the deck has drowned in its own bile, and I just feel bad for the guy now. He wanted to get laid, and he didn't really take care of it in the most discreet manner. Now he's got a criminal record, he's making attempts at denial that are so pathetic they're embarassing, and he's got his own party calling for his head. It's so, so stupid. The only saving grace here is that the GOP is cannibalizing their own guy. The Democrats (as far as I'm seeing) are mainly staying out of it, hopefully realizing that this is essentially the same thing that almost took down Bill Clinton. It's just as stupid now as it was then.

In conclusion, Scary Monsters is the best David Bowie album, I don't give a damn what you say.

And I just got someone to play Brainiac on the radio, so I still have some happy thoughts to take home even after all the bitterness about this whole tea-room thing.