What do Republicans and R Kelly have in common?

Inconsequential news first, as I'm still waking up. I inexplicably felt the need to stay up until 3 a.m. last night watching "Trapped in a Closet" and "Blades of Glory," so I need to kill time until my brain stops hiding in the corner and hissing at me any time I approach it.

• Drowned in Sound announces that Marc Bolan lost his virginity at age 9, then goes on to ask the question that no one in the "legitimate" news, the "MSM," has the balls to ask: "If you could have sex in any decade, which one would it be, and why?"
• I know people who would do this.

And now, current events.

• The state of Texas actually declined to kill someone who had been sentenced to death. I told you they weren't all bad!
• "But they started it!" --

  Hezbollah is angry about a new Human Rights Watch report that condemns the group's rocket attacks on civilians during last year's war with Israel. [...] Leaders argue that Human Rights Watch should save its criticism for Israel, whose air attacks on Hezbollah targets in Lebanon killed far more civilians than Hezbollah's crappy rockets did. [...] "The fact that more Israeli civilians didn't die is not a tribute to Hezbollah but a tribute to Israeli bomb shelters," says Sarah Leah Whitson, director of Human Rights Watch's Middle East and North Africa division. "The point we're making is that even though they say 'only 43 Israeli civilians were killed' that doesn't make it OK."

• George W. Bush may not care about black people, but his aspiring successors are focusing their not-caring on latinos. Except for poor old John McCain, who will agree to anything if he thinks he can squeeze a delegate out of it.
• "Senator Charles E. Schumer, the New York Democrat who is on the Senate Judiciary Committee, said he was struck by the cooperative tone he had heard in a conversation about nominees [for Attorney General] with the White House counsel, Fred F. Fielding, who is overseeing the search." -- Ladies and gentlemen, meet your new Attorney General, Fred F. Fielding. Mayhap he's sucking up to Schumer now so when he pulls a Cheney and decides that he's the best man for the job, he'll breeze through confirmation.
• Remember how Colin Powell told the United Nations that the Iraqis had chemical weapons? Well they did. They were in the UN building. D'oh!
• Gerald Ford can't save you now!
• I still think Elizabeth Edwards is smarter than her husband. Stating accurate political judgments seems like a better strategy for a primary battle (where you're competing with your fellow partisans and allies) than trying to fight them tooth and nail.
• Harry Reid, you spineless sack of crap. The White House is writing the Petraeus report: those defending the war are now trying to sugarcoat things to prevent too many people from defecting. Hold fast, grow a pair of balls, and BRING THE DAMN TROOPS HOME. YOU DO NOT NEED TO COMPROMISE ON THIS. THE RIGHT WILL COME TO YOU WHY DO YOU INSIST ON DOING THIS TO MY BLOOD PRESSURE?
• If everybody is in the first tier, what's the point of even talking about tiers to begin with?
• Tony Snow, the most entertaining White House press secretary, and John Warner, the last living Knight of the Round Table, are both going to leave office reasonably soon. Everyone is sad about this (except for Democrats). However, as of this particular moment, Larry Craig has not stepped down. Everyone is sad about this too (except for Democrats, who don't care, because there's no effing way that they're ever going to win in Idaho).

I can't handle any more news today. I'll try to catch up tomorrow. Until then, please enjoy fluff.