1) Investigators can't look at the computers Mark Foley used to have dirty cybersex with little boys without his permission, because he also used them for work, and are a tax write-off or something. Justice prevails!
2) I have this plan: We should have every presidential primary on the same day: April 15. We don't have to have all of this stupid front-loading, the primaries are closer to the actual convention, the candidates aren't prematurely decided by two states that have to bus in minorities to clean their houses and shovel manure, and you can turn in your tax return with your ballot, if you'd like. Also, the parties don't have to start violating voters rights and sanctioning their state delegations.
3) Morrissey has competition:
"The lesson for America is … well, there’s never any lesson. It’s all just a hazy and quickly forgotten series of random acts of pointless violence punctuating institutionalized racism and demagoguery and dreary campaign cycles designed to exploit the very worst aspects of the American soul, the end."
4) Speaking of Morrissey, he seems to be the last 80's icon to hold out on cashing in by getting his old band back together. It could also be because Johnny Marr is doing guest spots with EVERY BAND CURRENTLY PERFORMING MUSIC. Seriously, I saw him playing with a mariachi band on Humboldt Avenue last weekend.
5) Also: Lyle Lovett, Jackson Browne and Jewel are getting together to collaborate . . . with Ghostface Killah. Judging by that news and the weather in Chicago right now, the world is, in fact, ending.
6) Back to the news, Iraqi leaders in exile may be staging a military coup, which as far as I can tell, would put us right about back where we started.
7) New intelligence states that George W. Bush may have done something right, and the surge really is making Iraq a safer place. However, the same intelligence states that the Iraqi pretend-government isn't very good at getting people who are now getting blown up less frequently to believe that they're not a pretend-government. So despite the fact that we're doing better, we're still an occupying force that will remain indefinitely with no long-term accomplishments to show for it, other than letting Starbuck's purchase the entire United States in order to prevent it from being completely owned by China.
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