C-RAP . . . Oh wait, no, I meant CPAC.

Leonard Pierce, a fine writer, a long-standing friend of mine, an expatriate Chicagoan, and a liberal so dedicated he makes me look like Sean Hannity, is attending the Conservative Political Action Conference this weekend in Washington DC. He's keeping a running log of it over at Sadly, No which is really essential reading for any liberal who wonders what it's like in the lion's den. I'll post the complete table of contents when the weekend is over, but here's the first six chapters of "The Beast is Red:"
1: An American God
2: Invisible Asia
3: You Shan't Go Home Again
4: In a Mad Frenzy, Stinging Themselves to Eternal Death
5: Soy un Perdidor
6: She Don't Like, She Don't Like, She Don't Like... McCain

Headline News

• The news of the day is that Willard "Mittens" Romney is dropping out of the race. In lieu of an explanation of why I will miss him (mainly that I don't have a candidate to call "Mittens" anymore), I will simply link you to an article entitled "Romney Resigns, Blames Porn for Black Babies," which really sums up quite nicely how much of a twit Mittens really is. I encourage you to read the full speech, where he rails against liberals for being French black hedonist terrorist Teamster gay surrender-monkeys on welfare.
  
  
• I read a good chunk of McCain's speech too, but it was very long and it seemed like most of it was just an apology for not being as crazy as the audience wanted him to be, so I got bored and gave up.
  


• What's the sound of one man giving the finger to the national news media? You wouldn't think it would make a sound, but it turns out that it sounds an awful lot like an Al Gore spokesman saying that Al has made his choice for who he supports for the nomination, but isn't going to tell anyone who it is.
  


• Nothing the president does is illegal if the Department of Justice says it isn't.
  


• Delegate stuff: Obama and Clinton will likely finish the primaries with just about the same number of delegates. That means the superdelegates would decide the nomination. A list of superdelegates and who they are supporting can be found here. Yglesias suggests two things. The first: Hillary's campaign is claiming to have stopped Obama's momentum, and is quietly going about trying to get the Michigan and Florida delegates reseated: both of which indicate that she's on the defensive (remember that she was conveniently the only Democrat on ballots in those states because she didn't bother to withdraw her name, even though both states were stripped of their delegates for holding their primaries too early). Second: if she goes into the convention with the lead on combined super- and regular delegates but is behind on pledged delegates from primaries, she could use the majority to get Florida and Michigan delegates seated to push her over the top.
  
  
• Completely irrelevant news story but another magnificent headline for the day, brought to you by Fox News. "Police: Crack Found in Man's Buttocks."