• Tucker Carlson discusses gender solidarity, vaginal-Americans, and how Maggie Thatcher "ran and governed as a man." I can't get over the fact that this joker is still on the air.
  


• Rudy Giuliani has stopped reserving his attacks just for Hillary. The Mayor attacked Barack Obama, saying, "You're not Ronald Reagan." Obama supporters nation-wide laughed, exchanged high fives, then sent the senator more money. Obama responds by noting that Giuliani's law firm is currently representing Hugo Chavez. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Rudy Giuliani is Dick Cheney without the brains.
  


• John Schmersal of Enon & Brainiac explains, at great length, his feelings on Taco Bell.
  


• Stephen Colbert is running for President of Publicity.
  


• Karl Rove, scum-guzzler to the stars, is going to debate Max Cleland, the triple-amputee Vietnam veteran who lost his senate seat when someone (I'm not saying who) ran a bunch of ads about Cleland with Osama bin Laden's picture in them. Should be fun.


• Iowa has just moved their caucuses to last month. Since no one was there, the default winners were George W. Bush and Richard M. Daley for their respective parties.
  
  
• Blackwater USA to be detained at Gitmo.
  
  
• Reminder: Baby boomers are old, Steven Tyler is creepy.
  
  
• Ladies and gentlemen, I'd just like to remind you that America has the finest military in the world, and we would never accidentally launch a $3 million missile at no one.
  
  
• What I want to know is, where is the president hiding this 24%? I certainly haven't found any of them.
  
  
• Here's a question: if Rudy Giuliani wins the nomination, how many more ska references will we have to roll our eyes at?

More this evening.