You never would have guessed it on your own

• Decades of experience in Washington have trained Bob Novak to see right to the heart of what's going on. He's got the contacts and the finely honed wisdom to bring the truth to the people. In this column, Novak explores in-depth the murky background behind the hiring of several Democrats or non-partisans at the Treasury Department and arrives at a stunning conclusion:

  All this was known to Bush in May 2006 when he tapped Paulson as a Treasury chief who would command respect on Wall Street. It should be no surprise, then, that he is regarded in his own administration less as a true Republican secretary than as a transition to the next Democratic Treasury -- a trademark of a lame-duck regime.

  Yes, that's right. George W. Bush will not be president after the next election. We must alert the populace!
  
  
• Since America is having trouble conquering Iraq, Iran has offered to help us.
  
  
• We're all devo.
  
  
• A court of law has determined, in a horrifying turn of events, that someone on this planet is less fit to be a single parent of two children than Kevin Federline.
  
  
• Rick Santorum may run for governor. I'll stop giggling about that by the end of this week, I swear.
  
  
• Blackwater exonerates itself.
  
  
• The Edwards campaign money-making juggernaut has managed to raise almost as much as Ron Paul in 50% more time. Furthermore, in the entire quarter, he raised slightly more than political heavyweight Bill Richardson!
  
  
• Hillary Clinton compensates for maybe accidentally last week hinting that she might support a military engagement in Iran.

Bah. I'm finished for the night. Go home and enjoy yourselves.